I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
