Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
