yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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