they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
