listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
