When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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