"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it's like iHOP with fire
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
