I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
