I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Randomize
