his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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