I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
