Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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