you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
where are my eyebrows?
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