were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
