he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
