tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
