how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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