I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
