can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
