I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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