Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize