New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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