shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
