That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
