I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
