He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
