We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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