drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
