i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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