We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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