hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
