I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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