Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
