I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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