Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
