Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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