you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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