i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
