wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
