Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
