a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
