so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
