I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
