Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
