I want to walk on stilts...naked
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
