At least make sure they are 18
Why
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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