do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
organizing the empties. That sober.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
