so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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