Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
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