are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
