sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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