Soap is not a condiment
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
