im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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