also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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